I have new music coming. I didn’t say when — now I’m just teasing you. It’s important to remember that I am so cautious this time around of jumping back into things. I’ve really decided to take my time with things. “When the time is right, I will put it out there. I am dying to release new music … but everything in due time.
What people don’t realize is I’m an extremely sensitive person. When someone says something mean about me or makes a meme making fun of me, I have a good sense of humor. But when it’s a very serious subject it can be hurtful. Even if you have an account thats like ‘ImaDemiFan,’ that’s the name, and you leave one comment that said ‘You look like Lord Farquaad with that hair,’ I’m like, ‘damn, that kind of sucks’. I’m so tired of pretending I’m not human. When you say stuff, it affects me. I try not to look, but I see it.
What I see in the mirror [is] someone that’s overcome a lot. I’ve been through a lot and I genuinely see a fighter. I don’t see a championship winner, but I see a fighter and someone who is going to continue to fight no matter what is thrown their way. I have a lot of confidence now because I have said the things I believe in. I know I can hold my own on a first date with someone, in a conversation with someone. That’s what I see when I look in the mirror — a strong woman.
Over the past five years I’ve learned life is not worth living unless you’re living for yourself. If you’re trying to be someone you’re not, or you’re trying to please other people, it’s not going to work out in the long run. If you want to dye your hair purple, dye your hair purple. If you want to love someone of the same sex, love someone of the same sex. Be yourself and don’t be afraid of what people think.
For so many years I dealt with an eating disorder. What I wasn’t ever open with myself about was, whenever I was in the gym I was doing it to an unhealthy extreme. I think that’s what led me down a darker path — I was still engaging in these behaviors. Embracing my body as it is naturally is why I took the month of October off the gym
I think it’s been a very introspective year for me. I’ve learned a lot, been through a lot. (This included working on accepting her body as is — which, she clarified, is different from body positivity). “We hear the term body positivity all the time. To be honest, I don’t always feel positive about my body. Sometimes I do not like what I see. I don’t sit there and dwell on it. I also don’t lie to myself. I used to look in the mirror if I was having a bad body image day and say ‘I love my body, you’re beautifully and wonderfully made.’ But I didn’t believe it. I don’t have to lie to myself and tell myself I have an amazing body. All I have to say is ‘I’m healthy.’ In that statement, I express gratitude. I am grateful for my strength and things I can do with my body. I am saying I’m healthy and I accept the way my body is today without changing anything.”